Pages turned, bridges burned, but lessons learned

WOOF. That is really the best way that I can summarize how 2022 was like for me. As I sit in this first week of the new year, I am hopeful for what new chapters will be written in 2023 but also can't move forward without reflecting on the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful that was 2022. I experienced some of the highest highs, but also a number of lows. Through it all, I truly believe it has led me to where I can really build the life I want.

When I think of this past year, I truly believe it was a year meant for me to lay the foundation in order to rise in 2023. I had so many huge milestones from moving to an entirely new city over an hour away from my friends and family, moving into a house with no roommates, to no longer working a job that wasn't for me. Those items truly took up most of my time last year but were instrumental. I've said this multiple times, but this year was the first time I truly felt like an adult which is both exciting but also terrifying. It was so hard to find a place to move to because I had such a specific vision of what I wanted and was limited to just my income which is a huge financial weight to carry. However, after many challenges that arose along the way and months of scouring all the online rental websites, I found a place that exceeded all my expectations and I hope to be here for awhile. I did have a couple mental breakdowns as the move approached. Once we got to the two week countdown, things became real and the reality started to set in. I actually set my moving date back a week because I was scared. I was scared of being completely alone up here, hating the area I chose to move to, and not having any friends or that any friends would come visit me. The first night I sat in my house alone after moving in it was a really weird feeling. A feeling of being truly alone after spending a couple years living back at home. It ended up being the best thing I could have done for myself. It sounds silly to be stressed out about a move where I only was moving a little over an hour away from my hometown and could realistically go home when I wanted still, but the only time I ever moved away from home was for college and even then I had friends that I knew I would be around all the time. Moving to the Twin Cities had been a goal of mine since graduating college in 2020, and I'm so happy that I was finally able to make it happen.

Not only did I go through major life changes in 2022, but I also have began to accept some hard truths, and in turn have began to learn to listen to myself which was a voice I have ignored for way too long. I recently came across a quote that said "When you seek answers to questions you already know, you're not actually looking for the answer; you're looking for permission." Well, to put it simply there were a lot of things I was telling myself but I kept boxing that voice out. There were a number of things in my life that I continuously was asking myself if I should continue with, or stick out a little longer. I wish I would have listened to myself sooner because I did know the answer already, I didn't need to ask. I think the biggest reason I blocked out that voice that was trying to guide me was because I was scared. The delay in me turning the page on these instances came after a long internal battle. A lot of second guessing happened like: "What if I don't find anything better?" "What if the next (fill in the blank) is worse than (fill in the blank) before?" Honestly, I'm still searching for what that next is, but I can honestly say just by closing those chapters, it is better. In those situations where I stayed, I didn't realize how much weight I was carrying emotionally until it was over. That feeling alone has taught me to never stay in something that doesn't feel right ever again.

Aside from the huge changes that took place in 2022, there were some that were smaller but became memories I'll carry with me forever. I traveled to Pittsburgh to work the NAHL Top Prospects event, which was my first time in the city. I also had two girls trips, one to Austin, TX and another to Scottsdale, AZ. I also was able to see Niagara Falls for the first time when I was in New York on a solo work trip which was really cool. I joined the Bardown Beauties podcast where I get to work with someone I really respect and admire and talk Wild hockey, as well as came back to in-arena host for the Minnesota Wild for another season. 2022 was also the year I began to take therapy really seriously and work through past trauma, which has been really hard but really damn good for me. There were also a lot of late nights with friends, a lot of wine drank, karaoke sang, new friends made, reconnecting with old friends, and pictures taken. I turned 26, which sounds old to me but still is mid 20s so we'll take it. I went to all the concerts, going to Machine Gun Kelly and sat front row in the pit for Carrie Underwood. Oh, and I also was part of the two percent of fans to score tickets to see Taylor Swift in 2023! (It's easier to get into Harvard than it is to get Taylor Swift tickets. Look it up I'm serious). I was able to celebrate weddings, baby announcements, new animals, new jobs and so many more milestones for my friends as well.

I'm not sure what 2023 will have in store, and there will probably be some chapters that will be more difficult to get through and tears that will be shed, but my hope is that there will also be a lot of beautiful moments and milestones to cherish for years to come. And with that, the 2022 season comes to an end. Goodnight everybody 🤍